Bill Clinton is one of the most famous American politicians of our time. He served as the 42nd President of the United States from 1993 to 2001. During his tenure, he faced several controversies, including the Monica Lewinsky scandal. Despite this, he remains a beloved figure in American politics. Here are some clean Bill Clinton jokes that will make you laugh.
Why Did Bill Clinton Cross the Road?
To get to the other side! This classic joke is a great icebreaker and will get a chuckle out of anyone.
Bill Clinton and the Magic Lamp
Bill Clinton found a magic lamp and rubbed it. A genie appeared and said, "I will grant you three wishes." Bill Clinton thought for a moment and said, "I want to be the most loved person in the world." The genie granted his wish, and Bill Clinton became the most loved person in the world. The second wish he made was to have unlimited wealth. The genie granted that wish too. Finally, Bill Clinton asked for a never-ending cigar. The genie granted his wish, and Bill Clinton went off happily smoking his cigar.
Bill Clinton and Moses
Bill Clinton died and went to heaven. When he arrived, he saw Moses standing there. Bill Clinton asked Moses, "What's the deal with all these people wearing white robes?" Moses replied, "Those are the people who have never sinned." Bill Clinton thought for a moment and said, "I'd like to meet the guy who washes their robes."
Bill Clinton and the Elephant
Bill Clinton was visiting an African village when he saw an elephant with a huge erection. He turned to his guide and asked, "Is it normal for elephants to have erections that big?" The guide replied, "No, Mr. President. But they do get excited when they see someone important."
Bill Clinton and the Secret Service
Bill Clinton was walking through a park when he saw a man fishing in a pond. He walked up to the man and said, "Excuse me, sir. Do you know who I am?" The man replied, "Yes, Mr. President. But if you don't have a fishing license, you'll have to leave."
Bill Clinton and the Mirror
Bill Clinton walked into a bar and saw a man staring at himself in the mirror. He walked up to the man and said, "Why are you staring at yourself in the mirror?" The man replied, "I'm trying to see what I look like when I'm sober."
Bill Clinton and the Parrot
Bill Clinton walked into a pet store and saw a parrot that could talk. The parrot said, "Hey, Mr. President. How's it going?" Bill Clinton was impressed and asked the store owner how much the parrot cost. The store owner replied, "Ten thousand dollars." Bill Clinton said, "That's a lot of money for a parrot." The parrot replied, "Yeah, but I'm worth it."
Bill Clinton and the Farmer's Daughter
Bill Clinton was walking through a field when he saw a farmer's daughter. He walked up to her and said, "Hi, there. Do you know who I am?" The farmer's daughter replied, "Yes, Mr. President. But if my dad finds out I'm talking to you, he'll shoot both of us."
Bill Clinton and the Cabbie
Bill Clinton got into a cab and asked the driver, "Do you know who I am?" The driver replied, "Sure, you're Bill Clinton. But I'm trying to make a living here, so could you please get out of my cab?"
Bill Clinton and the Haircut
Bill Clinton walked into a barbershop and asked the barber, "How long will it take to get a haircut?" The barber replied, "About ten minutes." Bill Clinton said, "Great. I'll come back in two hours."
Bill Clinton and the Golf Ball
Bill Clinton was playing golf with his wife when he hit a bad shot. The ball went straight into the woods. Hillary said, "I'll go in and find it." Bill Clinton replied, "No, I'll go. I hit it."
Bill Clinton and the Jukebox
Bill Clinton walked into a bar and saw a jukebox. He put in a dollar and selected a song. The jukebox played "Hail to the Chief."
Bill Clinton and the Astronaut
Bill Clinton was visiting NASA when he met an astronaut. The astronaut asked, "Mr. President, would you like to go to space?" Bill Clinton replied, "Sure, why not?" The astronaut said, "Okay. We'll start training you tomorrow." Bill Clinton said, "Wait. Tomorrow? How long does it take to be trained for a space mission?" The astronaut replied, "About ten years." Bill Clinton said, "Oh. In that case, I'll pass."
Bill Clinton and the Submarine
Bill Clinton was visiting a naval base and was given a tour of a submarine. He asked the captain, "How long can this submarine stay underwater?" The captain replied, "About three months." Bill Clinton said, "Wow. That's amazing. How do you get all the food and supplies you need for that long?" The captain replied, "We don't. We just bring along a lot of politicians."
Bill Clinton and the Elevator
Bill Clinton got into an elevator and saw a man staring at him. He said, "Do you know who I am?" The man replied, "Yes, Mr. President. But I'm still not giving you my seat."
Bill Clinton and the Horse
Bill Clinton was visiting a ranch when he saw a horse with a huge erection. He turned to his guide and asked, "Is it normal for horses to have erections that big?" The guide replied, "No, Mr. President. But they do get excited when they see someone important."
Bill Clinton and the Baseball
Bill Clinton was at a baseball game when a foul ball hit him in the crotch. He fell to the ground in pain. The Secret Service rushed to his side and asked, "Mr. President, are you okay?" Bill Clinton replied, "No, I'm not okay. I think I've been hit by a Bush."
Bill Clinton and the Tour Guide
Bill Clinton was visiting a museum when he saw a tour guide leading a group of people. He walked up to the tour guide and said, "Excuse me. Do you know who I am?" The tour guide replied, "Yes, Mr. President. But please don't touch the exhibits."
Bill Clinton and the Restaurant
Bill Clinton walked into a restaurant and asked the hostess, "Do you know who I am?" The hostess replied, "Yes, Mr. President. But we still require a reservation."
Bill Clinton and the Hot Dog
Bill Clinton was at a baseball game when he decided to get a hot dog. He walked up to the vendor and said, "I'll have a hot dog with everything." The vendor replied, "Everything?" Bill Clinton said, "Yes, everything but the intern."
Bill Clinton and the Lawyer
Bill Clinton was walking through a park when he saw a man fishing in a pond. He walked up to the man and said, "Excuse me, sir. Do you know who I am?" The man replied, "Yes, Mr. President. But I'm a lawyer, so I'm not allowed to lie."
Conclusion
These clean Bill Clinton jokes are sure to bring a smile to your face. They show that even Presidents can have a sense of humor. Share these jokes with your friends and family, and enjoy a good laugh together.